So I am about to get very personal here. I consider this blog to basically be my journal to my self. I don't share a lot of really deep feelings, but I need to put them down at the moment. I am pretty sad. I really believe that no one is ever going to love me. i feel like C was the only chance I had and I will never stop loving him or that anyone else will ever love me. I just hate where I am in my life. I can't seem to shake it. everytime I think I am getting better and things are going well, that other shoe drops and i go through a really bad period. I have to realize that this too shall pass. I am tired of having these times though. I don't feel like I am strong enough to handle them. I am just cracking under all the pressure and the lack of support and love. I have a wonderful family and friends, but I need that one person that will love me and I can love back. I feel like such a whiner for even saying these things, but it is truly how I feel.
Sometimes I just can not wait for nights to be over, to go to bed so the next day can start.
It makes me so angry at myself when I am sad and there are happy things going on all around me. My new niece should be hear any day and i can not wait to see that precious baby. I can not wait to see Kate's reaction to her. My heart feels like it is going to burst with how much I love Kate.
That should be enough, shouldn't it?
(sorry for the depresso post!)
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