Something's gotta give...

Something.Has.To.Give. I have to get my big fat lazy arse to the gym!!! I went on Sunday, but have not gone since. Ugh...what is my excuse, oh that's right, I don't have one!

I am going to do the workout jar. For every work out, I am putting a $1 in my jar.  I have not made said jar yet, but I will this weekend and show it off. Also, gotta show off my brand new purple Nike's!! ;)

Anxiety...you will not kill me

For some reason I am riddled with anxiety tonight. No, that is not true, I know why. I just don't want to admit it to myself. I hate that one person can make me feel so uneasy. That my life feels upside down and not right when that one person is not here at this moment. My stomach is in knots, and all I want to do is cry, but the tears won't come.
This is going to be a long upcoming month. I am excited for the first part...going to Maui. I worry that I won't be able to get out of this "funk" while I am there. I know this shall pass too, it always does, and tomorrow is a new day. I hate those stupid cliches, but I use them all the time. When I don't have an explanation for what is going on in my life or why it is not a different way, I say "it is what it is".  That is total crap. I hate that saying.
I have always felt like I need to be perfect for everyone else and make everyone else happy.
I need to get back to exercising and maybe my mood will improve. All I can do is try and hope for the best. I just need this feeling to go away...and fast!

https://sites.google.com/site/perfectlyimperfectjennsite/files/currentlylinkup.png

I am trying for the first time ever to link up with Jenn at Perfectly Imperfect....love it! Hope this works :)

current book(s) - Does People Magazine count?? 

current playlist - Miranda Lambert "The house that built me", Adele "Rolling in the deep". I love music :)

current color - loving the bright pink and orange sunsets 

current food - I want some pizza!

current favorite show(s) - One Tree Hill ...so sad it is ending! "Hart of Dixie", "Guiliana & Bill".

current needs - to lose weight, to feel better about myselft

current triumphs - no soda today! Made my own coffee for work!

current banes of my existence - just finished a major project, so I am pretty good. 

current celebrity crush - loving the boys on One Tree Hill, Ryan Reynolds

current #1 blessing - my nieces...love them with all of my heart! 

current indulgence - guilty pleasure tv

current outfit - khaki skirt, black sweater

current excitement - to start the 9 week journey of c25k

current mood - good :)

current favorite quote or verse - "I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart" e.e. cummings

current wish list item(s) - some new clothes!

current favorite product(s) - loving my perfume "Feminine" by Dolce&Gabana

Motivation

So the last couple of days have been a little bit of an eye opener for me.  I participated in a 5k in Carlsbad, it was good, but I definately felt fat.  Then last night at the softball game, something clicked inside of me, I got mad, like pissed off mad that people view me as the fat girl.  Now, I know that is making an assumption because I don't view my friends that way, but it is just my twisted way of thinking.
Anyways, I am mad and going to take action...watch out...c25k here I come!

84 in March

I love living in Southern California! 84 degrees in March....yes, please. It was so nice out today. Apparently it was yesterday too but I didn't get out of bed until 11 am, hmmm, musta needed some sleep. So today, I took full advantage and managed to get up and going before 10am. I got my car washed and detailed and sat outside in the sunshine while waiting. Drove down the coast to La  Jolla to go to Whole Foods. Guitly pleasure, but it was just too nice not to see the ocean!
Then it was time to get home and get down to business. I had tons of laundry to do and lots of cleaning.  I ended up re-arranging my living room and bedroom.  2 hours and lots of sweat later, I was happy. Wanted to stay at home and veg out, but went to the gym...the best part...got to watch the last 1/2 hour of the sex and the city movie while walking on the treadmill.  Came home and made a big salad and a black bean chipotle burger..yum!
It has been a great weekend, and sadly it is over! :(
This week is a little bit slower until the weekend. So my workouts will go like this:
Monday - rest
Tuesday - gym, treadmill, bike (no softball game)
Wednesday - gym, treadmill, eliptical
Thursday- rest
Friday - gym, treadmill, bike
Saturday - rest - but will spend the day at a golf tournament, so there should be tons of walking involved.
Sunday - gym

I will let you know how it goes. :)

burn, burn, burn!

Finally went to the gym today and it felt so good! I am always so nervous about going to the gym after I haven't been for awhile. I feel like people are going to judge...oh here comes that fat girl.  silly, I know! :)
I am doing the Carlsbad 5000 - the 5k portion with my bff on April Fool's Day.  Too funny.  So my plan is to allow myself this week of walking on the treadmill followed up by a cool down on the bike and then next week get in to c25k.  I also joined an adult softball league with a bunch of friends. We play on Tuesday nights. i am proud to say that I HIT and made it to first base on my first at bat!! woot woot! I would have never guessed that. I had forgotten how much I love sports and how competitive I am! felt so good to get out there and play!

BURN, BURN, BURN

I made it to the gym today and it felt soo good! I always am embarassed to go back to the gym after not going for awhile.  :( But I did just fine! I am doing the Carlsbad 5000 - the 5k portion on April Fools Day with my bff. should be fun! So I am going to give myself this week to walk on the treadmill followed up by a cool down on the bike. Next week I will get back in doing the c25k to start my training.  It feels good to be exercising again!

Tonight I am headed over to mom and dads to watch the oscar's and have pizza...a tradition with my mom.  I also have one piece of birthday ice cream cake left over! yum!

I have such a bad habit of eating when I am bored. I have NO idea how to change that. I get bored at work in the late afternoon and then suddenly think I am starving....clearly I am not! I need to find some foods that are filling that will help with this a bit more.  This week at work I am really going to focus on eating every 2 hours. And no stopping for coffee until Friday....that should help my wallet too!

I am looking forward to a good week! :)