I did it!

I did it! I made it to they gym this morning.  I rode the bike for 45 minutes and did not die! HA!

I had a little set back...hurt my foot/leg, so exercise has not been a priority. My ass getting fatter apparently was!!

Tomorrow I am going to try the treadmill, hopefully my foot will hold up! I really want to start the c25k program again.  I am starting no carbs on Tuesday...until Christmas Eve. We will see how that goes. I think i can do it..I mean I did it before with no problem!! If I falter, that is ok, but I am pledging to not eat any carbs for dinner.   Wish me luck! :)

F.A.T.

Okay folks, I am fat . I mean F.A.T.

There I said it. Now (fingers crossed) I will be motivated to do something about this. I keep thinking, tomorrow I will start. No damn it. You will start immediately.

I am going to the gym tomorrow and starting week 1 of C25k.  This is just ridiculous. I am tired all of the time. I believe this is because I am not exercising.

Ok, so my plan is to check in everyday, and be accountable, even if I am the only one reading this!

Happy Friday...see you tomorrow!

summer summer summer!

It has been awhile!

I can't say that I have been doing anything too exciting. I certainly have not been working out! I am doing ww online and am doing pretty well so far. It has been over 3 weeks and I have lost 5.5 pounds. Not too shabby. 

The summer is coming to an end :( boo. I had to buy a new car over the weekend....stressful, but I am in love with my brand spanking new jetta. I am talking only 40 miles on it when I drove it away! LOVE. 

This weekend my bestie and I are walking a 5k.  We wanted to run part of it, but I failed on that. I am excited to go to the fitness expo though!

I will let you know how it goes...

That Pit

It's been awhile since I posted.
Baby Tess arrived! She is now 3 weeks old and a beauty. I went to maui, had a great time.

Tonight I have an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. choices are so difficult and I continually question myself and think I am not makin the right one. I have this horrible problem of second guessing my decisions, if I chose to do one thing, will I miss out on something else? It is so lame and I know it!!! I am just completely and utterly frutstrated with myself.

I wish i was one of those people that enjoyed being alone, and 'discovered" herself.... i have not done that. :(

Wednesday...

It's been a while since I posted. I have been busy and just don't feel like I have had all that much of importance to say. 

I have been working out really hard this week (well, since Saturday...but I am proud).  I have been doing the elliptical for 10, the bike for 20, the treadmill for 20 and the rowing machine for 5.  I am trying really hard to lose weight before I leave for Maui...my shorts do not fit. I have heard that the ellliptical is the best for dropping weight. I have felt like I could go for longer than 10 minutes, so I am going to push myself tomorrow.  I kind of love the feeling of how much I am working out. 

I have been looking around my house and after moving some furniture around, I want to purge. I am going to get rid of some stuff this summer. There is stuff that I know I have not looked at in over a year or needed, so why am I holding on to it.  Hmmmm...that kind of reminds me of life. Get rid of baggage!!!!!

Still no baby Tess. :/ grrrr.

Have a great rest of your week! :)

Waiting on a baby...

So I am about to get very personal here.  I consider this blog to basically be my journal to my self. I don't share a lot of really deep feelings, but I need to put them down at the moment. I am pretty sad. I really believe that no one is ever going to love me. i feel like C was the only chance I had and I will never stop loving him or that anyone else will ever love me.  I just hate where I am in my life. I can't seem to shake it. everytime I think I am getting better and things are going well, that other shoe drops and i go through a really bad period. I have to realize that this too shall pass. I am tired of having these times though. I don't feel like I am strong enough to handle them.  I am just cracking under all the pressure and the lack of support and love. I have a wonderful family and friends, but I need that one person that will love me and I can love back.  I feel like such a whiner for even saying these things, but it is truly how I feel. 
Sometimes I just can not wait for nights to be over, to go to bed so the next day can start.

It makes me so angry at myself when I am sad and there are happy things going on all around me. My new niece should be hear any day and i can not wait to see that precious baby.   I can not wait to see Kate's reaction to her. My heart feels like it is going to burst with how much I love Kate.

That should be enough, shouldn't it?

(sorry for the depresso post!)

June

Wow~
It is June already! Time flies!

This weekend has been super busy.  Here are a few pics from over the weekend. I had a baby shower for my sister at my mom's house. I got these flowers from the farmers market ...

And made these cupcakes and tags...

Red Velvet cupcakes...yum! Plus, I used the canned frosting...has anyone done this? That stuff is A.W.E.S.O.M.E! Anyone could decorate a cake or cupcakes! :) I wasn't too happy with the dyed red fingers though...oh well.

June has started my 21 day challenge....I am challenging myself to 21 days of counting points and working out! By next week I plan to start c25k again.  I am just working out right now. 

I just made the yummiest dinner...baked chicken parmesean (weight watchers recipe...super good!)...steamed broccoli and garlic bread. I really do love cooking.  I have to spend more time doing it.  Good thing summer is coming up!

The only thing I do not like about summer is the re-runs! boo.  I guess I just have to become one with my dvr.  And get a new dvd player! Mine does not work, which also means I can not use my wii right now either. double boo. 

I hope eveyone is having a good first day of June!